Crossroads

I am currently standing at a crossroads. A point at which my life, or career as it were, was following a pretty consistent path, when the budget crisis of 2009 threw a wrench into my smooth flowing path. Let me explain.
For the past 4 years I have been teaching 4th grade at the same school and was given the opportunity to work for the best administration a teacher could ask for. My creativity in the classroom was encouraged, not stifled, my position as teacher/parent/therapist/nurse/confidant to all my students was appreciated and encouraged, and, most importantly, I was supported in my teaching endeavors because two people believed in me and my ability to do it. Would I have had the same success without them?
I have many friends throughout the district within which I work, that are not happy. Many work for bosses that are controlling, micromanaging, over bearing, and frankly downright rude and/or inconsiderate. These friends were often jealous of the good relationship my bosses and I shared, and didn't enjoy their jobs the same way that I did. They enjoyed teaching, sure. But they didn't enjoy everything else that comes along with it, and in teaching, there is much that comes along with it. I don't know that I understand the philosophy behind the "rule by fear" theory. Why not encourage the positive and address the negative when it is needed? I guess for some, the negative is too strong to ignore. But this fear has left them paralyzed as to each and every move that he/she made. Is that the way to create and foster a teacher's love of teaching?
I have had people ask me if I am a good teacher. That, to me, is a stacked question. If I answer yes, does that mean that I am full of myself? Or does it mean that I am confident? If I answer no, then does that mean that I am unsure of my abilities as an educator? Or am I just being modest?
My answer to this question has always remained the same. A teacher is only as good as his/her administration allows him/her to be. If I had bosses that stifled my creativity, disrespected me, and questioned my every choice, I think that would reflect in my teaching. I think I have become a "good" teacher because I have been supported and managed by an administration that appreciates and celebrates the positive accomplishments and small triumphs of each and every person, teacher and student alike. I do not think I am a perfect teacher, far from it. I think every teacher hones his/her craft throughout his/her career. The more you teach, the more you learn. And I've heard it said by veteran teachers that they learned something new about the profession up until the day they retired, and even beyond in the days of reflection that follow a career built on teaching others.
So this brings me back to my crossroads. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I must leave this cocoon of positivity and support I have grown accustomed to over the last 4 years. While I don't doubt that the school I am going to also has superb administration, it will be hard to let go of what I know has worked so well for me. What will I find at my new school? Is it a micromanaging, rule by fear administration? I don't think so, at least I hope not. But of course, that will prove itself in time.
But I still, as of now, have to say goodbye to my mentors that have taught me so much. I know it is not goodbye forever, as these relationships have melded into friendships that I hope will last beyond the walls of the school. But I would like to take a moment to say thank you. I know that your jobs, much like teachers, are jobs that others love to find fault with. We in the education field are constantly scrutinized and attacked with accusations and disapproval from all spectrums.
I guess when you are young, it is your teachers that make impressions on your life. We all remember that one teacher in elementary school that did that little bit more to make the year great for you. But now that I am older it has become clear to me, that anybody can be a teacher, in a classroom, or out. So to the two of you, you know who you are, please know that you have made a difference. It is because of you that I am the teacher I am today. Administrators don't get enough support or appreciation. But you are doing everything right. You will always have a special place in my heart for seeing in me the ability and enthusiasm to teach and support students and giving me a chance to prove it. It is because of people like you in the education field that "good" teachers become "great" teachers.
I hope I have made you proud.