Ode to Target

Target. The best store in the world. I have several reasons, and will happily share them with you, and hopefully convert any Wal-Mart followers to the wonderful world of Target.

Reason 1: It is a Mecca of items you neither need, nor even want, but MUST have.
Case in point: the dollar bins. There is really nothing I NEED from this area, however I must peruse for fear I will miss the best deal of the year and be left without the newest and greatest piece of plastic crap that I simply must have that will break the second I get it home when I discover, yet again, that you really do get what you pay for. And what was the piece of plastic crap? A really neatly packaged...ummm...I'm not so sure what it does, or rather what it was supposed to do. No matter I think to myself, It was only a dollar. Sorry-tangent.
Back on track: I quickly peruse the dollar aisles and spend way more time in this area than most of the rest of the store combined. Upon my arrival, I notice that they have added their "Spring" items. Then, I see it. A green gardening hat.
My saavy, thrifty angel on one side says, Do you really need a new gardening hat for the garden you do not at the moment have?
Well, here is my train of thought brought to light by my super trendy devil on the other shoulder, to explain the necessity of the gardening hat to the non existent yet uber important angel staring at me and tapping her foot anxiously waiting for a response:
Well, I don't at the moment have a garden, but I know that I will be gardening this coming Spring. And if I am to get the hat, then I must get the $1 gloves that are so carefully placed next to the hats for easy access.
Upon scanning the rest of the items for sale in the bins, I notice that they also have a pair of gardening scheers. Now, I beieve these were actually priced high...$2.50. I know, I know, big spender. But how much cutting do you really think $2.50 scheers are going to do? Ummm, that would be none. Or at least not very much before they break into two pieces that will soon find their home at the bottom of my trashcan. Knowing full well the future home of my carefully selected $1 products...I buy them anyway. I am such a sucker.
Oh, and by the way...still no garden.

Reason 2: It is home to a plethora of items.
If it isn't available at Target, it must not be that great anyway. At least that's what I tell myself. Any item that I need is there. Let's go down a recent list shall we:

* Milk for my rapidly growing daughter. Check.
* Wine for my gathering on Friday night. Check.
* A pink T-shirt to help fight against the unnecessary cutting of Education monies to frivolously spend the uber important funding on something equally important such a saving the blue spotted bird from "certain" extinction in the northern reaches of California. I'm sorry...tangent again. But on track once more... Check.
* A new bra...it was time. Girls, you understand. Check.
* Bleach! Ahhh, cleaning supplies! Nothing better than the smell of a clean house. And I do believe I myself am a sucker for most "new and improved" products or just "new" products that cross the shelves at Target. If it promises to help my cleaning time diminish, or kill all kinds of germs, I'm all for it. However, most often the items find themselves being used once and not meeting up with my exceptionally high standards of bleach. If it doesn't help me or smell clean forget about it and enjoy your remaining days in the graveyard of lost cleaning supplies...under my kitchen sink! After spending a good 15 minutes in the cleaning supplies aisle...Check...Check...Check...

There were more, but I won't bore you with the rest. Only in a place as wonderful as Target is it possible to get the healthy essentials like milk and cheese, clothes to help demonstrate your upcoming job loss, a Nonfat Decaf Sugar Free Hazelnut Latte (from Starbucks, of course, which is so conveniently located right inside the door), a hot dog for good measure from the Target cafeteria, a Christmas tree (real or fake), a Barbie fishing rod, cheerios, a vacuum to clean up the cheerios, a garden hoe (because now due to Reason #1 I am overly ambitious and feel the need to stock up on all such gardening items now), and my prescription which, thankfully, Target now fills for me! Well isn't that just so convenient of them? Make it so even if I need nothing else in Target, me, a woman, must walk through the health and beauty section to pick up 2 simple prescriptions. Coincidental. I think not.


Reason #3:Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
Now don't get me wrong, not every Target will fit into this category, but the ones closest to me certainly fit the bill. I used to be an avid Wal-Mart shopper. Their prices were cheap, and they always had a good selection. I didn't think anything could be better than Wal-Mart until I walked in one day and noticed how absolutely filthy that store is. It was the day before Valentines Day, which was mistake #1, I know, and I needed to buy a humidifier for my daughter's room because she was sick. As I made my way up to the store, after fighting for a spot with some lady 4 times my size, I took walked inside with my 7 month old daughter to an atrocious, disgusting pig sty. There were items thrown on the floor and people flooding out of every aisle. I suppose everyone in the world found the need to go to Wal-Mart at the exact moment I did...None the less, I got my necessary item, pushed my way to the front amidst scary, large women, ghetto equally scary men, and teenagers that had nothing better to do than stand around in the middle of the aisles and "talk" to their friends. Is this a new trend? I hope not. Upon getting to the register, my clerk was curt, and said only, "Your total is $29.34." Wow, I thought, I am never coming back here again. And I haven't since. That's when I found Target.
I had always heard people talk about Target, but always just went to Wal-Mart, it was cheaper, I would justify it to myself. After my frightful Valentines Day experience, I learned a few more cents, for a clean store is totally worth it to me. The two in Apple Valley are just great. The ghetto-ness of Wal-Mart has now become a thing of the past, thanks to the very existence of Target. Ahhh Target. Gotta love the clean.

I could go on to explain more as to why Target is my store of choice, however, I think I have made my point.